Chaotic 2020
A happy friggin new year everybody. The way some of us go through a decade already, which is kinda terrifying. As I always mention in my blog, time flies without us getting to stop or pause. The end of 2019 was rather fun but also chaotic. I got to travel to Bangkok, Thailand. I have to say it really changed my perspective on how a city can grow so rapidly. Me being the city girl sucker I am, really really really dream much more on visiting New York one day, for real. Ever since I was a child, I have always wanted to live "the life" in NYC.
(Honestly I have drafted this post since January and now I am diving right into writing smth)
It's March and the world out there isn't of a great. The global epidemic COVID-19 is hitting the world and as well as affecting where I stay. Every country is facing its crisis and this virus is definitely driving everyone insane. Some sacrificed, some holding on, some struggling... I really wished life could go back to what it was before. Today's d8 of social distancing and quarantine. I haven't been doing much but just study a little, watched dramas and purely rotting a lot since I am back home.
My personal life hasn't been of a great either. I thought I would not be involved in any love relationship-ish stuff for some time BUT I guess not. I can't have a clear mind whether am I in love or I am wanting to be in love. How does it feels like to sort of like someone but you're confused? It is always so hard when something just popped up from your head like hey do you ever realised someone around you would be suitable. I have always, always told myself that you cannot fall in love with your best friend cause it is and will be disastrous. I have usually held my feelings and emotions back, I have known, too much will ruin me.
What is my life when there aren't friendship issues. I have met some new people and thought they could be exactly the type of people I am looking for. Nevertheless, fate fails me at times. I am tired of picking up their shit and trying to withstand their problematic ass. I am truly sick of being there for them when they do not. I always try hard to compromise and make the first move to care for others. Still, I constantly drained up all my energy.
Getting back to studies, I have been procrastinating, for sure. Law school kinda sucked but bearable. The final exam has been postponed so I guess have more time to study. Till now, I still wonder and question do I really love this life and will the future me love it too? Telling myself to be strong to face whatever obstacle but am I actually strong enough? I am really exhausted all the time and it is that I find less and lesser motivation in life to push myself forward.
Recently, I cried a lot for BTS. This comeback season had been the saddest and heart-wrenching. I cannot find a way to illustrate what I felt but after the live that Namjoon made in the v-app, I cried so much. They had put so much effort and the songs they wrote were so meaningful that they had not had the chance to tell us about so. Concerts had been cancelled and comeback shows were so empty without karmys. It's funny how I can love 7 boys that I have not seen before so so much. I really hoped things can recover and my boys can be happier again.
Do stay safe and take care<3.
(Honestly I have drafted this post since January and now I am diving right into writing smth)
It's March and the world out there isn't of a great. The global epidemic COVID-19 is hitting the world and as well as affecting where I stay. Every country is facing its crisis and this virus is definitely driving everyone insane. Some sacrificed, some holding on, some struggling... I really wished life could go back to what it was before. Today's d8 of social distancing and quarantine. I haven't been doing much but just study a little, watched dramas and purely rotting a lot since I am back home.
My personal life hasn't been of a great either. I thought I would not be involved in any love relationship-ish stuff for some time BUT I guess not. I can't have a clear mind whether am I in love or I am wanting to be in love. How does it feels like to sort of like someone but you're confused? It is always so hard when something just popped up from your head like hey do you ever realised someone around you would be suitable. I have always, always told myself that you cannot fall in love with your best friend cause it is and will be disastrous. I have usually held my feelings and emotions back, I have known, too much will ruin me.
What is my life when there aren't friendship issues. I have met some new people and thought they could be exactly the type of people I am looking for. Nevertheless, fate fails me at times. I am tired of picking up their shit and trying to withstand their problematic ass. I am truly sick of being there for them when they do not. I always try hard to compromise and make the first move to care for others. Still, I constantly drained up all my energy.
Getting back to studies, I have been procrastinating, for sure. Law school kinda sucked but bearable. The final exam has been postponed so I guess have more time to study. Till now, I still wonder and question do I really love this life and will the future me love it too? Telling myself to be strong to face whatever obstacle but am I actually strong enough? I am really exhausted all the time and it is that I find less and lesser motivation in life to push myself forward.
Recently, I cried a lot for BTS. This comeback season had been the saddest and heart-wrenching. I cannot find a way to illustrate what I felt but after the live that Namjoon made in the v-app, I cried so much. They had put so much effort and the songs they wrote were so meaningful that they had not had the chance to tell us about so. Concerts had been cancelled and comeback shows were so empty without karmys. It's funny how I can love 7 boys that I have not seen before so so much. I really hoped things can recover and my boys can be happier again.
Do stay safe and take care<3.
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